I QUIT!

… So now educated by my ‘Sensei’ I was now on a mission to find the perfect stilettos. I had done all right at work that day (at least in my naïve opinion) after pay out at the club I had about $40 to spend on shoes.  I would have never guessed it would be so hard to find a shoe store that carried stripper shoes! Naïve little Foxxxy was actually shocked when Payless told her they did not carry such a shoe! Hey give me a break, I had only been in my new career a total of four days and I was a still young and dumb…

Finally, I found a stripper shoe store (ironically) right next to the store I bought my costume at. (How’d I miss it there the other day?). See, I have come to find that anytime you are in a store and the merchandise does not have a price tag clearly showing the price, you automatically should assume the item is expensive; however, I had not come up on such wisdom at the time, so I wound up killing about 45 minutes waiting for someone to help me. I know the store was really busy with the one customer waiting for help and all but 45 minutes, really?

I damn near fainted when she told me the shoe I was holding was on sale for $220. “I’ll be back…” and I rushed out the door. Can heels really make that much of a difference???

I managed to make it through my first week at the job… I was ecstatic that I made almost $400 for my first week! (Again Foxxxy was naïve back then…) Oh yeah by the way, I say Foxxxy but this was way before Foxxxy existed, funny though, I honestly can’t remember what my stage name was… its not like the juke box needed to know my name,  the club didn’t have a DJ, after all.

I was ready for week two!!!! I was determined… I invested in some stilettos, although not for $220, more like $90. There I was at the club armed with my new investment. It never occurred to me that I may not be able to walk in stripper heels, let alone dance in them…   Costume on…. Face painted…. Hair curled…. Shoes on…. Off to the stage I go…. Whoa!!!! So this is what it’s like to be normal height? Interesting…  Careful, Foxxxy…. Slowly Foxxxy… Made it to the main area! Stage time… Uh oh it’s dark in here… **Aerosmith starts to play** Here’s the wall, I’ll just use it as a guide… KERRRRRRRRRRRRRR SPLAT… Damn, that sucked and with all customers here watching… (That was sarcasms at its finest right there). Good thing my first club was a total dive and no one came there unless they were desperate or a regular for one of the girls. So my pride was not hurt too badly, unfortunately my ankle, knee and wrist were…  Now I was just mad at the stupid club… It hated me so that it spitefully lifted that little piece of carpet up intentionally and tripped me.

So I quit.

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Shoes Close The Deal

I was unaware of how impstripper shoesortant shoes are to an outfit. Even less, was I aware that men really are into shoes. Sure, they make jokes at women and their 101 pairs of shoes but turns out, men are just as much into shoes as women are. I, on the other hand, am not fond of shoes. Being flat-footed makes just about any normal shoe uncomfortable, not to mention the shoes that try to bend your feet in an unnatural way.

I didn’t expect to make tons of money from the start, I was still learning, after all,  but after a week or two the house was still taking pity on me by waiving my stage rent, in addition to giving me $2 from the register for the jukebox. I was a little discouraged, to say the least. Finally, I asked one of the girls what I was doing wrong. I was surprised that she was so willing to give honest feedback. It turned out the feedback was even helpful.

I learned, in addition to experience, I needed to be more outgoing, more confident and most important, I needed new shoes. Outgoing… ok for me this was sort of an ongoing project. It was hard for me to lose the ‘I have no desire to speak to you’ vibes; and since I never really thought of myself as attractive, much less worthy of  being paid to show my body… well I understood these two components; but shoes, really? Can the customers even see feet up there and aren’t they looking at other parts a little more interesting than feet? After my mind processes the most obvious questions and I had time to think a little more on the subject, I realized shoes may actually be the key. Think about it, what other accessory can change the entire look of an outfit? What other accessory can change a person’s physical appearance? What do I have to lose? It may be nice to be taller than 4 foot 11 anyway….

Remembering my first stripper gear shopping experience, I knew that there were a ton of different styles of stilettos to choose from. So how do I pick? Ahhhh back to my old friend Lycos!!! The things you can learn from the internet… I was shocked to find out that stilettos do a whole lot more than you realize!!!

The most important contribution shoes can make to your appearance has to do with posture (so to speak), the higher the heel incline the harder the muscles in your thighs and butt work, making for a tight ass and nicely shaped legs. Don’t stop there is more! Heels also work muscles in your abdomen and pelvis helping tone your tummy and strengthening those private muscle (Yes ladies wearing high heels not only gives you a nice ass and defines thigh muscles but they can physically help your sex life too!).

Of course, heels are not fashion’s magic wand; you cannot simply put your foot in the shoe and PRESTO –Change-o turn yourself into every man’s dream. You must have a special talent to wear high heels and achieve sexiness… OK, OK so talent maybe the wrong term to use, one can learn how to be sexy in heels and rarely does one naturally have the ability to put heels on for the first time and hold on to the ability to gracefully walk. Let’s be honest many of us don’t have the ability to gracefully walk barefoot. lol

It would be awesome if stilettos came with an instruction manual. There are many things I find myself thinking would be nicer if it came with instruction, while other things I find myself thinking, ‘Really???? It was necessary to kill a tree and waste time writing instructions???? Where is Darwin when you need him?” OK I know… Foxxxy! Focus… Wearing heels…

First, you have to find the right size shoe. If you are buying heels between 2-3.5 inches, choose a shoe that is a half size larger than your normal shoe size; heels 4-6 inches, choose a shoe one size larger than your normal shoe size and any size higher than 6.5, choose a shoe one and a half sizes larger than your normal shoe size. This is not a fail-safe formula but a good guideline to start. I would not recommend starting out with the highest heel if you have never worn stilettos before but I know that there are some that like to walk on the edge! But for the record, I warned you…

Now that you have the heels, wait until you get home and are alone to practice walking in them. Unless, of course you enjoy making friends and family or even total strangers laugh, in which case I suggest forget walking… go ahead put them on and sprint across the room… better yet sprint up and down your incline driveway and try a staircase right away!!!

When you are wearing your high heels, you want the shoe to fit snug, but not so much that your foot is sweaty, your toes are squished and you can’t wiggle them. Avoid wearing your heels without stockings. Wearing them bare will cause your feet to sweat and rub blisters, plus it is hard to get that smell out of the shoe and everytime you wear them your feet will smell too.

You also do not want the shoe to be too loose. Loose high heels can lead to serious pain and at the very least, damage to your ego. Loose high heel will force you to tense the muscles in your foot because you will crunch your toes to keep the shoes on while in stride. Loose heels are likely to trip you when your heel slips up and the heels drags across the ground or in a crack. Loose heels cause you to walk stiff which defeats the purpose of wearing them since you can’t be stiff and graceful at the same time.

Always practice on flat, solid floor to begin with; take 6-8 small, slow steps; then turn; continue in a figure eight pattern, increasing your pace until you are walking at a normal pace and feel comfortable in your heels.

When walking in heels, remember to pull your shoulders back. Sometimes this is not as easy as it sounds, especially if you are exhausted or new to walking in heels. If you do not pull your shoulders back, you will look like the hunchback of Notre Dame and may as well coin the quote, “Yezzzz, Master…”

As you step, focus your weight on the ball of your foot. Your heel should not ever touch the floor with weight on it but this does not mean walk on your toes. You will take smaller steps than normal but do not take micro steps. Keep your toes facing forward and knees together.

Sounds easy? Chest out, hips relaxed, knees together, slightly bent, small steps, ball of feet… Good! Now walk…

You will practice and practice and practice some more. Then you will stop and realize, “Hey wait a minute, I’m doing it!!!!”

Now, I may have forgotten to mention one little thing, nothing big… after walking in heels for the first time for even a short session, the balls of your feet will hurt like you don’t even know, and even worse the next day. In fact, the next day your butt, thighs, calves, ankles, feet and toes will ache. You may not even want to get out of bed, but it is important that you make yourself walk in the heels again the very next day and the next and the next, no matter how much it hurts. Before you know it, a week will have gone by and you won’t be aching anymore. We (women) go through torture more often than not to achieve sexy, you should be used to this by now! Of course, as with anything, though there are good results, wearing heels is not without its risks. Aside from the obvious potential injury, like breaking a bone or spraining your ankle; wearing heels can cause permanent changes in the muscle, tendon and joint structure in your ankles and legs, this can be avoided by alternating heel sizes instead of wearing the same size heel consistently. If you change heel height regularly there is a good chance that you avoid permanent damage! Doctors used to believe that high heels caused osteoporosis and other related medical conditions; however, science has disproved this myth.  So wear those sexy heels… torture yourself as much as you want….

How Much For That Eye Patch?!?!

www.foxxxylaydeeez.comThe manager did have a point, I could use the money I would have spent  on the Sheriff’s Card to buy something to wear that was a little more appropriate for my new career. Besides, how much could a few outfits cost? There isn’t much fabric, just a few scraps of material with a string to keep them together, right? Now I just had to figure out how to ask daddy for a loan and then where to go for stripper gear.

First things first, ask daddy for a loan. So here goes… “Hi daddy, Guess what? I got a job!!!” After some congrats… “I was wondering… can I borrow some money… See Daddy’s Little Girl is going to be baring it all for any paying customer to see, but I need a sexy little something to encourage the customers to pay…”

“Sure baby, what was the name of this fine establishment? “ as I hear the gun safe open.

Ok that isn’t how it went at all… “…if I can borrow a little bit of money, I have to buy a uniform for my new job.”

Now, with a hundred dollars from daddy and the little money I scraped together for the Sheriff’s Card, I still needed to know where to buy stripper gear… Google to the rescue! Well back then I think it was Lycos, but you know what I mean…

My search only returned a few results, but that was ok with me! I hate shopping, so the less places I have to go to, the better. So off I went to shop with my friend (hmmmmmm, let’s call her Sandy).  After driving around for over an hour and still not finding the it, so I marked off the first place on my list… Next… From the outside,  this place looked so sleazy, I wouldn’t even buy something for my dog (and I strongly believe dogs are a waste of fur), let alone buy something for myself, so Sandy and I didn’t even bother getting out of my car… Reviewing my list, I didn’t even bother to go to the next few but the last one was right around the corner from my apartment, so I figured we should give it a shot. Again, I can’t say the actual name of the place but Naked Necessities would be synonymous with the real name of this “boutique.”

We pulled into the parking lot and parked. Not too bad, so here goes nothing. We walked in and the place was a ghost town. No customers and no cashiers. I jumped when I heard a voice call out from what I assumed was a dressing room area, ‘be with you in just a second,’ followed by muffled voices. Sandy and I started looking around. “Ummm I wonder how you put this on?” I asked Sandy. “Or where exactly this goes?” We giggled until we saw the prices.

Sandy held up, what I thought could easily pass as an eye patch for the pirate’s costume and mouthed to me ‘T-W-E-N-T-Y E-I-G-H-T D-O-L-L-A-R-S!’ I was speechless (which is a very rare thing for me) as it registered in my mind I would only be getting one outfit today, if I was lucky.

The maid costume was really cute and it was practical since you could wear the hair band, gloves and choker with the bra, panties and skirt for a complete costume; or just the skirt, panties and top or just the top and panties or just the gloves, choker and hair band… Ok you get the point. I really liked how the top made my boobs look great, and the best part of all was the bra had padding that could be replaced with bigger padding and I could put my tips in the pocket too. OK the padding did not impress me half as much as it did the obviously gay guy selling it, in fact I had to take all the padding out and stuff my boobs in it just to make my 32 DD’s fit in the top to begin with but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Sandy argued that a few other outfits were cute, but the maid outfit won overall. The grand total was $147. As I paid for my stuff I couldn’t help buy wonder how much the costume cost to make, five dollars???… there had to be less than five dollars worth of material…. Sheesh!

Damn It Costs Alot To Get A Job!!!

Ok on to my next dilemma, Sherriff’s Card… How was I going to get money to get a Sherriff’s Card, the last one I got was $200 +. I can’t afford… Oh, wait the last one I got hasn’t expired yet!!!  Maybe I can use that one…

“Wait, did you say Child Care?” was exactly what the manager said when I asked if I could use the card I already had. “They fingerprinted you for this card?” I was in complete awe after this question… Ummm hello, CHILDCARE, of course they fingerprinted me, in addition to running a complete background check on both my financial and criminal history, you retard! The manager acted as if stripping required way more precautions than caring for someone’s child.

“When does it expire?” It was like I could hear the gears turning in his head. “Ok that is just a few month away. Until you get the proper card, if anyone asks, you will be renewing it soon for the correct one but we didn’t see the point in wasting money changing it since it expired soon.” Sure, dude, whatever helps you sleep at night. Mr. helpful manager was even nice enough to suggest I use the time and money I save to shop for stripper gear!

After hanging up, I couldn’t help myself from laughing out loud, literally. Really, what’s going to happen? Stripper police going to arrest me and throw me in jail for life because I have the wrong card type?? Hello, I think they would be too busy investigating my new place of employment and what really happens behind those curtains. You know the ones, the privacy curtains for the “PRIVATE DANCES” where there is hardly space, between the couch and the curtain, to stand. OMG! I was going to have to find out what goes on behind the curtains at some point. **Cringe!**

Oh well, I’ll deal with that when the time comes… On to the next mission for now… Stripper Gear…

How hard can this be??? <<<<<<Famous last words….

 

My first tip!!! $4

So we left off at the manager asking me what I planned to audition in…

The manageimagesr walked me to the dressing room, which was located through the back, outside in a trailer. He introduced me to one of the three girls working and asked her to explain things to me since I had never done this before. Eagerly the girl agreed and dove right into everything faster than I could keep up.

Finally, she asked me if I would like to borrow an outfit for my audition. I was trying to take it all in! What had I gotten myself into? And hell no I am not wearing your used underwear for… wait what was I doing again? Before I knew it, I was in my bra and panties standing in front of a jukebox trying to figure out what the hell I was going to take my clothes off to. I chose two songs and put the two-dollar bill the manager gave me in the machine. Now everything after this was like a cut scene in slow motion and I remember it like this…

***Cue Aerosmith, ‘Dream On’*** Barefoot, I climbed the stairs to the small stage. Luckily, the lights blinded me and I couldn’t see t the audience (which only consisted of the manager, two of the girls on shift and the third giving a private dance to the only customer in the place behind a curtain). I felt a little light headed and wished I had taken the drink when the manager offered earlier. I thought for a second I might faint and fall off the stage… ‘wait can I sue if I get injured?’ FOCUS!

I always wondered what the pole was for, now I knew and was thankful for helping me keep from collapsing. My brain tried to recall every scene I could remember from any movie I had seen with bedroom dancing (which did not amount to much).

***End of song, cue Tom Petty, ‘Mary Jane’s Last Dance’ (the only two songs I recognized on the jukebox)

Top is off (how’d that happen?)… While I continued rolling around on the floor, the manager walked up to the stage, laid two $2 on the stage and mouthed bottoms off now.  And so it was. I was feeling very naked, then my brain came to speed, I was naked!!! The manager approached the stage again, this time no tip and mouthed “see me at the bar after you’re dressed” then he was gone. The song seemed to take twenty minutes to finish, then I was dressed and at the bar before I knew it.

I wondered if I was really that horrible… I wasn’t very impressed by the other girls which I only got a glimpse or two of. I thought I did at least as good as they were doing.

“See you on Thursday…” the manager shouted across the bar, but I must have looked puzzled because after a second he added… “I would have you work tomorrow but you need to get a sheriff’s card first and you need sign a contract. Club opens at noon, don’t be late and I will waive the stage fee.”

I stared at him a second longer before he continued… “Since this is your first time, I will let you get by wearing bra and panties but please make sure they match… even better if you have a bikini but we prefer something a little more professional.” (Yeah because this is such a busy, high-class place, right?) I nodded my head, still dazed a little. “One week… then I expect you to have a variety of nice costumes…”  (Again, yeah since this is a busy, classy place that I am going to make thousands in. And probably all in two dollar bills right?).

Well at least I have a job…. Oh shit, how am I going to explain this to my husband? I didn’t know how he was going to feel about me taking my clothes off for total strangers in exchange for $2. Couldn’t worry about that now, I was employed and if my husband had a problem with my new line of work, well he could get a job…. Ha! With that logic he would be more than thrilled I was taking my clothes off for cash!

 

Prelude

So why does a person choose to be a stripper? I guess each person has their own reasons, just like with any other profession or any other choice for that matter. Since this blog is in the beginning stages and I can’t think of anything else to write about, I will share with you my story. Please feel free to comment and debate even, I only ask to be respectful and refrain from insulting comments.

I love feedback though so please leave me comments! Especially, suggestions for other blog topics…..