Pssst… You Won’t Believe What Foxxxy Did…

I HATE drama. I hate people who cause drama even more…

At the strip club, most of the strippers are in what I call, arrested development. For some reason, no matter how old most strippers are, they seem to be stuck back in grade school. The way strippers gossip is way worse than any game of telephone I can imagine. When a stripper walks by while someone is telling a story, it makes no difference that she does not know the whole story because whatever parts she hasn’t heard, she will just make up as she tells it to another stripper. I believe all strippers should be writers because let me tell you, they are not only avid talkers but more creative than anyone I know…

Another thing they are good at is slightly altering the story so it seems that they were somehow directly involved in situation even when they have absolutely no clue what they’re talking about!!!

There I sat, in Stripperclub One’s dressing room, again… on the wrong side of the vanity, just about to enjoy the lemon chicken in front of me and… NO FORK! Damn it!!! I created a few new words to describe my feeling and spoke them under my breath while looking for something that could be used as a fork… No luck… So I stole Serenity’s fork… (Hey we’ve kissed before no biggy right?)

I sat down and started to eat with one hand and re-curl my hair with the other, when one of the night girls plopped down in the chair next to me. She dramatically sighed and started talking…In my head I wonder why do they always come sit next to me and want to TALK like we know each other??? I continued my rant in my head until I was interrupted by my name…  “and you know Foxxxy? You won’t believe what happened, girl…”

Wait! Whwww.foxxxylaydeeez.comat? Do I know you? I turned in my chair and leaned over a little, “ What about Foxxxy?”

“Well you won’t believe what she was doing in a bedroom dance the other day…”she continued to explain what I did and I just stared at her with my mouth open… Wow, how’d I manage to bend that way? I will have to ask myself and see if I can teach me how to do that!!!

Finally I couldn’t control myself anymore.

“Ummm you do know I AM Foxxxy… Right?”

That shut her up!

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You’re A Stripper and… You Can Read

I completely understand the concept “Money good, poverty bad. (The most intelligent thing ‘Bob’ has ever said!)” It would also stand to reason that most people would want to maximize there earning potential when at all possible, especially when all you have to do is sit next to someone and look pretty…

There wasn’t a day that went by, that a manager didn’t come to me and tell me to go sit with customers and constantly remind me, “You are missing out on money when you don’t sit with the customers…”

Some may think I was a lazy stripper… and I may very well have missed out on alot of money because I refused to sit next to customers… but my refusals probably kept me out of jail and prevented the club from being sued. Bottom line is; I made what I needed. Besides I have never ever said I wanted to be rich! Only that I want to have enough money to get by without worrying.

I hate fake people and I am not a good liar. Yep so, stripper is the ideal job for me!!!! (Sarcasm at its finest again!) I avoid socializing most of the time because I am a little too honest and sometimes can’t help pointing out that you are an idiot if you are. And I certainly couldn’t sit there and pretend I am interested in what the customers were say nor could I let the customer think he had a chance of actually taking me home… I also have a hard time sympathizing with the guy who wants to sit there and complain about himself and exaggerate about how great they are… How can I sit there and agree when you’ve left your wife at home, lying to her that you had to work late? Ok so maybe not every customer is like that and sometimes I would sit with a customer…

 

I’m not big on chaos, so working in totally nude clubs and on day shift, suited me just fine. Not only was day shift a slow relaxed pace but also didn’t have as much competition. A lot of the time it was dead, so we sat around smoking and waiting for customers. Even when things picked up, I got away with a lot of slacking… any other stripper would have been fired! Why did I get special treatment? Well I was a different kind of stripper… Where do I start? Let’s see…

I was always early for my shift… I was ready to walk on stage as soon as I got to the club… Timothy new he could always count on me to cover the stage if needed (once we only had three girls on shift and I wound up on stage every six minutes)… I would dance to just about whatever the DJ wanted to play (with the exception of Rue Paul)… I always tipped my DJ and Waitresses well and I never participated in drama!

So, if I was having a lazy day and just wanted to Blah all shift long, I could. You could often find me sitting on the first couch on the platform. You have no idea how many times I was asked why I always sat in that particular spot when there were other areas that were popular hang outs. Sometimes I forget, what is obvious to me may not be so obvious to others. So until I realized this is such the case, I would answer the question vaguely.

The truth was, I liked this spot because it was under one of the few dim lights, bright enough to allow me to read.

One day I was sitting there reading when a customer waltz in… our first customer of the day. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him eyeballing me as he shuffled around to find a seat. I did not have to look up to know he was sitting somewhere in the first row of tables but purposely not at the tip rail so he could get a free show… “Foxxxy standby…” Timothy announced and I was already walking toward the stage.

I finished my set, saw no tip, exited the stage, went back to my couch and continued reading where I left off. Timothy played a long, time killer song. I could feel Mr. Cheapo staring at me… The next girl did her thing on stage… still no tip… she asked for a dance and was turned down…. Oh joy, Foxxxy’s turn again. (Why are there never any girls there when the club had customers and never any customers when the girls are there?)

No tip again. OK Timothy had already started making comments to make the guy feel like a douchebag and break down and tip; ok my turn Mr. Douche…. I sat down on front center stage tip rail, staring Mr. Douche down. They always start to fidget a little and shift their weight when my stare is getting unbearable. It almost took the entire song before Mr. Douche finally gave up two bucks… Exiting stage, I retuwww.foxxxylaydeeez.comrned to my book. Out of the corner of my eye, again I saw him approach.  I looked up at him and understood how animals at the Zoo must feel.

Mr. Douche was definitely confused. Then he asked the stupidest thing… “Ummm are you reading??” I thought to myself, no dumb ass the book is a cover for what I am really doing… “Yes…” I answered…. He stayed there for a moment in silence, then repeated his question.

I wanted to ask him if I were unknowingly speaking a foreign language but instead I answered, “I know it is hard to believe but I can feed and dress myself too!” Just when I thought, he couldn’t possibly say something more stupider, “Really?”

Smartass by nature, I simply said “No not really…” and ignored whatever he said after that…

Next…

Let’s review… needed a job… found a club to hire me… spent $150 on a costume… spent $90 on shoes…. Increased smoking habit $20… gas looking for shoe store $15… week worth of tips for the waitress $30… My actual income was about $80 for baring it all!

****Wow two posts in one day, I am living on the edge!!!****

www.foxxxylaydeeez.comCut my losses and find a different career? No not Foxxxy, Foxxxy must try, try again. Hmmmmmm lets see exactly how many strip clubs are in Vegas…. I will choose one with a better name, one that does not elude Hoes work at it…. Pussycats? No sounds a little too experienced! Cheetah’s? Nope have to be 21 years old, serves alcohol. Wait I just came from a club that had a bar… I didn’t have any problem with age… “Was it a reputable club?” the person on the phone asked.

I assumed that was a rhetorical question and said good-bye. I was half way done with my list and then the little light bulb above my head flickered… The topless clubs serve alcohol so you have to be over 21…. So that means… I felt the smile slink off my face… Next on the list was Striptease… Hey there is a movie named Striptease, it must get lots of business and be awesome!! I walked in for my audition. At first, I stood in the entrance with my mouth open, just staring… It was huge! Look at the stage!!! It was Huge!!! OMG!!! Look at the dressing room! It was Huge!!! Look at the shift schedule! It was Huge!

I was in awe of Striptease and honestly never thought they would actually hire me… with it being Huge and all. They liked Foxxxy and wanted her to stay and work on the spot… Now I need a stage name…. I am so unprepared!!! How about Stephanie? The manager looked at me, looked at my ID, looked back at me and said, “Usually the stage name is different from your real name, you know for privacy purposes and of course your safety…” Oh, ok… hmmmm Paige? And it was so…. Don’t tell anyone but I tricked that manager… Paige is my middle name… lol see now who is laughing???

So for about three months, I practiced and learned and watched… I was doing pretty well, when the manager started strongly suggesting I switch to a night shift. I didn’t want a night shift I wanted to work normal job hours… Another week or two and the manager decided I was going to work nights. I gave it a try… After one night I quit…

How Much For That Eye Patch?!?!

www.foxxxylaydeeez.comThe manager did have a point, I could use the money I would have spent  on the Sheriff’s Card to buy something to wear that was a little more appropriate for my new career. Besides, how much could a few outfits cost? There isn’t much fabric, just a few scraps of material with a string to keep them together, right? Now I just had to figure out how to ask daddy for a loan and then where to go for stripper gear.

First things first, ask daddy for a loan. So here goes… “Hi daddy, Guess what? I got a job!!!” After some congrats… “I was wondering… can I borrow some money… See Daddy’s Little Girl is going to be baring it all for any paying customer to see, but I need a sexy little something to encourage the customers to pay…”

“Sure baby, what was the name of this fine establishment? “ as I hear the gun safe open.

Ok that isn’t how it went at all… “…if I can borrow a little bit of money, I have to buy a uniform for my new job.”

Now, with a hundred dollars from daddy and the little money I scraped together for the Sheriff’s Card, I still needed to know where to buy stripper gear… Google to the rescue! Well back then I think it was Lycos, but you know what I mean…

My search only returned a few results, but that was ok with me! I hate shopping, so the less places I have to go to, the better. So off I went to shop with my friend (hmmmmmm, let’s call her Sandy).  After driving around for over an hour and still not finding the it, so I marked off the first place on my list… Next… From the outside,  this place looked so sleazy, I wouldn’t even buy something for my dog (and I strongly believe dogs are a waste of fur), let alone buy something for myself, so Sandy and I didn’t even bother getting out of my car… Reviewing my list, I didn’t even bother to go to the next few but the last one was right around the corner from my apartment, so I figured we should give it a shot. Again, I can’t say the actual name of the place but Naked Necessities would be synonymous with the real name of this “boutique.”

We pulled into the parking lot and parked. Not too bad, so here goes nothing. We walked in and the place was a ghost town. No customers and no cashiers. I jumped when I heard a voice call out from what I assumed was a dressing room area, ‘be with you in just a second,’ followed by muffled voices. Sandy and I started looking around. “Ummm I wonder how you put this on?” I asked Sandy. “Or where exactly this goes?” We giggled until we saw the prices.

Sandy held up, what I thought could easily pass as an eye patch for the pirate’s costume and mouthed to me ‘T-W-E-N-T-Y E-I-G-H-T D-O-L-L-A-R-S!’ I was speechless (which is a very rare thing for me) as it registered in my mind I would only be getting one outfit today, if I was lucky.

The maid costume was really cute and it was practical since you could wear the hair band, gloves and choker with the bra, panties and skirt for a complete costume; or just the skirt, panties and top or just the top and panties or just the gloves, choker and hair band… Ok you get the point. I really liked how the top made my boobs look great, and the best part of all was the bra had padding that could be replaced with bigger padding and I could put my tips in the pocket too. OK the padding did not impress me half as much as it did the obviously gay guy selling it, in fact I had to take all the padding out and stuff my boobs in it just to make my 32 DD’s fit in the top to begin with but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Sandy argued that a few other outfits were cute, but the maid outfit won overall. The grand total was $147. As I paid for my stuff I couldn’t help buy wonder how much the costume cost to make, five dollars???… there had to be less than five dollars worth of material…. Sheesh!

Damn It Costs Alot To Get A Job!!!

Ok on to my next dilemma, Sherriff’s Card… How was I going to get money to get a Sherriff’s Card, the last one I got was $200 +. I can’t afford… Oh, wait the last one I got hasn’t expired yet!!!  Maybe I can use that one…

“Wait, did you say Child Care?” was exactly what the manager said when I asked if I could use the card I already had. “They fingerprinted you for this card?” I was in complete awe after this question… Ummm hello, CHILDCARE, of course they fingerprinted me, in addition to running a complete background check on both my financial and criminal history, you retard! The manager acted as if stripping required way more precautions than caring for someone’s child.

“When does it expire?” It was like I could hear the gears turning in his head. “Ok that is just a few month away. Until you get the proper card, if anyone asks, you will be renewing it soon for the correct one but we didn’t see the point in wasting money changing it since it expired soon.” Sure, dude, whatever helps you sleep at night. Mr. helpful manager was even nice enough to suggest I use the time and money I save to shop for stripper gear!

After hanging up, I couldn’t help myself from laughing out loud, literally. Really, what’s going to happen? Stripper police going to arrest me and throw me in jail for life because I have the wrong card type?? Hello, I think they would be too busy investigating my new place of employment and what really happens behind those curtains. You know the ones, the privacy curtains for the “PRIVATE DANCES” where there is hardly space, between the couch and the curtain, to stand. OMG! I was going to have to find out what goes on behind the curtains at some point. **Cringe!**

Oh well, I’ll deal with that when the time comes… On to the next mission for now… Stripper Gear…

How hard can this be??? <<<<<<Famous last words….

 

So what makes Foxxxy Laydeeez different from the rest??

Last time we talked about the average stripper’s life which is summed up as….

Stripper’s life    =    inconvenient work schedule + business expenses + high prices for cheap outfits that don’t fit and cannot be returned

     Foxxxy Laydeeez can solve the problem and make life easier and less stressful!

Foxxxy Laydeeez is open to take online orders 24/7. Our prices are hard to beat.  If something does not fit… Call us… we make alterations when possible for Las Vegas locals!!!!

Foxxxy Laydeeez offers hot, sexy, styles that are unique. We have everything from lingerie, g-strings, thongs, bikinis, clubwear, dresses, costumes, jewelry, rompers, bootie shorts and more.

Foxxxy Laydeeez is the solution to any adult entertainer’s outfit problems!

Visit us at Foxxxy Laydeeez!!!!

See what we have to offer!

Foxxxy Laydeeez

Owner of Foxxxy Laydeeez answers the question:

             Is Foxxxy Laydeeez different from the others?

I worked in the adult entertainment industry for many years. Remembering back, I wish I had a Foxxxy Laydeeez to depend on!!!!! Strippers work very hard every day, they are up on that stage doing a full workout more several times in a shift and by the time the shift is over, they are exhausted… And just before they finally reach the door to go home, they have to hand over a good portion of their money.

When I was still dancing, I was amazed how few people realized that dancers do not make an hourly wage, in fact; they have to pay the club to work there!!!! These girls have to pay almost a third of what they made to the club. Oh and don’t forget about the DJ’s tip so she isn’t dancing to “Rue Paul” the next shift.  Then the waitress (sometimes two) is waiting for her tip too.  Of course, you have to tip the waitress, well unless you want her to announce to future customers that the Cranberry Mixer just bought to you, is nothing more than water. (And costs $10) And… unless you are in the mood to be pawed, slobbered on and manhandled, better tip those floor walkers too!

After everyone is taken care of, what at first looked like a very prosperous evening, leaves you feel a little robbed.  To top it all off you realize its 2 am, and there isn’t a good chance a store is open so you can buy a new much needed outfit.

How many of you can relate? I’m sure a good portion! I complained about this same scenario with over a dozen other girls on a regular basis! But the story gets better!

You make it to a day off and go shopping.  After shop hopping for hours, finally you find (not the perfect outfit) but as close as you are going to come to perfect. The cashier rings up your sale. The outfit that is made up of a patch of fabric and some elastic is going to cost you $120. You hand over the money but resentfully think, “Wonder if this one will fall apart before the end of the week?”

Wait… story still continues. When you get home and try on your new outfit, the bottoms are big and the top is too small. F*!@!!!!!! No returns on intimate apparel!! Now what…. In the trash it goes!

Visit us at http://foxxxylaydeeez.com

Find out what makes us special!